


To Be Human

by TheWritingMagi



Category: Bleach
Genre: Arrancar Reader, Bottom Kurosaki Ichigo, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Hollowfication, Sensuality, Smut, human/hollow, trapped together in hueco mundo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingMagi/pseuds/TheWritingMagi
Summary: You, an emotionally starved Arrancar, wonder what it feels like to be human. Ichigo, an emotional human being, is more than happy to oblige your curiosity.
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo/Reader, Kurosaki Ichigo/You
Kudos: 18





	To Be Human

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a fic I wrote many years ago about Ichigo and an Arrancar reader where the reader had a super complicated background blah blah blah, though I'll be honest, this was what I actually wanted to write. Who doesn't love a dominant woman pulling Ichigo apart bit by bit?

When Grimmjow had asked for his help, this likely was not what Kurosaki Ichigo had in mind.

You, formerly one of Aizen’s Espada dogs, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had gone to the soul reaper for help to take on a rogue group of Arrancar that had risen after the Thousand Year Blood War. Grimmjow had insisted the two of you could take them alone, but you suspected some backup wouldn’t go amiss in this situation. Cleaning up after Aizen had become a pastime, one you quite enjoyed alongside your unpredictable partner in crime, but multiple high-ranking Arrancar was going to be tedious to take down.

Unfortunately for you, these Arrancar were a lot more trouble than anticipated. Tracking them down had been simple enough, their spiritual pressure suffocating in the remnants of Hueco Mundo, but they had been waiting for you three. The trap was sprung quickly and separated you and Ichigo from Grimmjow in the blink of an eye, trapping you in Hueco Mundo until your assailants were destroyed.

The battle that followed was fierce and draining, forcing you and Ichigo to retreat and cover your spiritual pressures to hide. You had found shelter in the twisted ruins of what looked like a small city before turning your attention to healing.

The two of you waited in silence for the first few hours, listening to the sandy wind as it whirled past the doorframes and windows of the decrepit building you hid within. You could feel your torn skin slowly knitting itself back together in the meantime. With a firm and unyielding grip on your zanpakuto, the time wore on as you lay in wait.

_ “Is this really what you want to be?” _

Ichigo had told you that once, years ago when you had been on opposing sides of a war. You had spared his life in the face of his overwhelming humanity and innocence, an act that spurred him to question your own nature. Why would you spare a human for being… human?

The thought had knawed at you ever since, as well as his bright, fiery eyes. It was as though his gaze had pierced your very soul and brought to light your most guarded desire.

What was it like to be human? To fear inevitable death and love so strongly?

You had been human once, of course, before becoming a Hollow. Your memories of that life were hazy at best, indiscernible at worst, but that had only driven a great need within you to understand, to  _ feel. _ Remnants of emotion broke through once in a while, enough to give you a euphoric high for a short time. You wondered if wanting to feel had become nothing but an addiction, the incredible need to be reminded you were alive. Everything was always so  _ muted _ as you were now and the emotions that leaked from your memories were like ecstasy pumping through your very veins. 

“What is it like to be human?”

Ichigo looked up at you. “What do you mean?”

“I hardly remember anything from before I became a Hollow,” you explained, sitting against the wall opposite him. “I don’t remember… what it’s like to feel. Not really.”

Ichigo frowned, his hair fluttering as a draft blew through the room. “I… don’t know how to explain it,” he eventually said. “It’s too innate to put into words.”

You watched him. His jaw worked as he thought, his brow furrowing and his gaze becoming lost as he tried to articulate an answer. It was fascinating to watch, so much so that you couldn’t help but admire him.

When you had first met, he was nothing more than a boy with power beyond his physical body. You had hardly thought to look at his face and see the defining lines of his jaw and cheekbones then: all that mattered to you was that he was very much human and wanted to live. In the times since, you had noticed his ageing and maturity more, but now… 

Now, as you sat alone and vulnerable with him, you could see it all. His silky hair the colour of dawn, eyes vibrant as burning embers. His jawline cut sharp and his lips set in a soft line, plush and pink. What would they feel like?

You found yourself curious about the dip of his collarbone and the flex of his neck, what the sinewy muscles of his shoulders and arms would feel like beneath your hands. You wanted to know what his voice would sound like in your ear, wanted to see him smile at you with that blinding grin of his, wanted to feel the touch of his humanity.

Your eyes never left Ichigo all the while, raking when he finally spoke. “Feeling can be electrifying, I guess,” he started, your sharp gaze trained on his suddenly distracting mouth. “Being happy or excited raises your spirit and makes your heart beat faster, while sadness or anger can feel like physical pain. It’s easy to get lost in your emotions some times and not be able to think clearly—”

Ichigo stopped short and glanced up. You had stood all of the sudden and crossed the space between the two of you as the reverberating fervency in your mind clouded your rational thought. All you could think was  _ I want to feel him, I want him to make me feel—  _

“...What is it?” he murmured after a moment, his eyes locking with yours. You stared down at him with such intensity, swearing that if you had a heart, it would be beating right from your chest. 

Ichigo’s gaze was intent and cautious, but soft nonetheless. A glint of something else was there as well, something you wanted to discover and pull from him in this desolate ruin. You were being hunted and Grimmjow was missing, but despite all that, you wanted to know what that spark of humanity in Ichigo’s eyes felt like firsthand, what it  _ tasted _ like.

“Show me.” Your voice was a hair above a whisper when you leaned down to him, close enough to feel his breath mingle with yours, this reaper whose soul you had spared years ago. “Show me what it is to be human.”

His breathing hitched. Your gaze flickered to the faint flush of his skin and the tense muscles of his neck. “I…” he huffed, his eyes glazing over ever so slightly as he took you in now for what seemed like the first time, struggling for words. “I don’t…”

The look in his eyes was practically smouldering now, sending a bolt of anticipation up your spine. “I want to feel you, Ichigo.” Your voice sounded so foreign, your tone sultry and velvety. He had captivated you with that look and now it might very well kill you to not know _ everything _ that laid behind those eyes.

A strangled moan escaped Ichigo’s throat at your words and his hands tentatively reached out for you. Your own met him halfway, collecting his palms and pressing your mouth to them with gentle kisses. They were warm, a stark contrast to the biting cold yours must have been. His fingers trembled just a little but slid over the skin of your cheeks with surprising surety.

“Passion,” he managed as he moved to run his hands through your hair, pulling you close and his eyes never leaving yours. “That’s what I’ll show you.”

When those plush lips met yours, something…  _ happened _ within you _. _ The breath in your lungs evaporated instantly and your hands on wrists  _ tightened. _ It must have been painful for him, the shock spurring your strength, but he kissed you deeply regardless and tugged gently at your hair. 

_ Is this it? _ you asked yourself absently, eyes fluttering shut as Ichigo’s tongue danced over yours and such incredible sensations flooded through you. Your legs went weak as you subconsciously slanted closer to him, sure it wasn’t from your mending wounds.

You had indulged in carnal acts before with other Arrancar, even eyeing Grimmjow from time to time when the edge of need became too sharp. It was merely another kind of hunger, one that could be satiated as required when it interfered with your senses. It was easy, no obligations required.

But  _ this. _ Kissing this human was something else  _ entirely. _

Kissing Ichigo was like breathing in the air of a clear summer day in the Living World. You could almost feel the warmth of the sunlight in spite of the sand and stone around you.  _ More, _ the primal Hollow in you demanded.  _ I need more. _

You were quick to cage him in against the wall, forearms and palms pressed to the stone as you loomed over him and drank your fill of his mouth. Ichigo responded in kind, his hands leaving your hair to grip you closer, fingers digging into your hip and dragging down your back. He felt fragile beneath you as your teeth nipped at his lower lip. Fragile while so vulnerable. Too rough, too desperate for what he was giving you, and you’d snap him in half.

Then again, perhaps not.

Ichigo broke the kiss suddenly, eliciting a growl of displeasure from your throat. He chuckled at that with a suspicious fondness before taking your hand in his and placing it over his chest.

“Feel that?” he said, his fingers lacing with yours as his heart pumped under your hand. He held your gaze as you felt the blood rush just below his skin. His lips were a beautiful crimson from the punishing attention you had given them and the flush in his cheeks was darker. “That’s what you do to me.”

You focused on the powerful beat of his heart and the blood in his veins, quick and hot as it ran through him. The human heart was strong, especially his.  _ His _ beat fast as he watched you watch him. It was the very representation of life itself, something that had been ripped from you when the whole appeared in your chest a lifetime ago. Ichigo was very much alive and emotional, panting in short bursts as he kept you close, almost protectively. Transfixed, you curled your fingers as if to tear that same heart out and see it for yourself, see this mystifying organ that you had lost and feel what he felt right then.  _ How foolish, _ a part of your brain laughed as you leaned down to kiss the scalding skin above his heart,  _ for a human to bear their heart to a Hollow. He must truly trust me. _

In the blink of an eye, your hands slipped beneath his robes and pushed the annoying fabric aside. Ichigo let out a noise of surprise, likely from your icy skin against his so suddenly, but it melted into a sigh of content as you bared his chest and shoulders. “Show me more,” you breathed against his neck, teeth sinking gently into the soft spot beneath his jaw.

The sound he made this time was utterly exquisite, high-pitched and airy, sending lightning crashing through your veins.  _ Again. _ Your body was flush with his now and his hands began to explore your skin as well. The urgency returned as sparks all but crackled in the air between you.  _ Make him feel that again. _

You feverishly kissed what skin you could while Ichigo’s quick hands peeled away your tight clothing, his breathing haggard and shallow as he focused on exposing you to the moonlight pouring through the cracks of your shelter. He swore more than once over the belts across your waist, fumbling with the tight buckles, until he finally just tore them away and threw them aside as you worked him out of his  _ ridiculous _ robes.

Your mouths met again once the obstacle of clothing was removed. The haphazard kiss was searing this time, Ichigo just as intent on tasting you as you were on taking him in. He gripped your thighs to haul you into his lap, his long legs tensed and powerful beneath you while his fingers massaged your hips. It was so much all at once, the feel of his skin against you, his lips pressed to yours, his strong fingers sliding between your legs, his stiffening cock touching your stomach— 

White blazed behind your eyes when you felt him sink his fingers deep into you. Your mouth fell open and you shuddered in his arms, taking refuge in the crook of his neck as he pumped his long fingers deep and curled them  _ just right— “There,” _ you moaned for him, earning a guttural sound for him in return, his fingers moving faster as you ground onto them. Words were beginning to become a nuisance, so you distracted yourself from the stifling air by grasping at the length of him and flicking your tongue across his soft skin.

Ichigo  _ mewled _ in your hands as you stroked him and mouthed the sweet skin along his jaw. His head felt back to the wall with a light  _ thump _ , but you chased him, mouth claiming his as his hands and yours continued unceasingly.

Without warning, an animalistic hiss reverberated through your throat. Your eyes flew open, body still cradled against Ichigo, as a heavy dread settled over your bones: you were losing control.

It wasn’t something that had ever happened during sex with previous creatures because of the clear lack of emotion, but you could hypothesize what would happen if you released your Resurreccion without being in full control; you would tear Ichigo to shreds, or Ichigo would kill you to protect himself.

_ Huh, _ you inwardly chuckled, the fear intoxicating, Ichigo’s fingers deep within you.  _ What a way to go. _

_ No.  _

The Hollow in you screamed to eat this vulnerable human alive and keep him all to yourself for eternity, but the deepest part of your soul fought back, screaming to protect Ichigo from yourself, protect the life you had so fiercely defended in the past and watched grow from a boy into an awe-inspiring soul reaper.  _ No! _ the voice cried, steadfast.

It struck you then. As Ichigo moaned into the crook of your neck and your bodies trembled with exertion and pleasure, you breathed him in and thought,  _ This is it. _

This was humanity.

“Want more— _ ah _ —Ichigo—”

Ichigo stuttered a nod, murmuring, “C’mere.”

Pulling your hands from each other reluctantly, you pulled your quaking body up to kiss this fragile human as deeply as you could before you sank onto his cock.

Immediately, stars glittered in your vision at the assault of sensation. It was too much, the feeling of him  _ inside _ you, yet not enough. You had a taste of his humanity and now wanted nothing more than to drag it all from him to see how far he could be pushed.

Or, maybe save that for another time. Ichigo’s face was soft with complete bliss, his mouth slack and eyes rolling back into his head. Your mouth watered at the sight, him entirely at your mercy. Right then, it felt like your brain would fry if you didn’t fuck Ichigo senseless right that second.

The pace you set was brutal and unyielding, your hips grinding down on his ferociously and your mouth greedily swallowing his shaky moans and cries of pleasure. He radiated heat like the sun itself, scalding your skin where he kept you tight in the circle of his arms and refused to let go, drawing out some basic instinct of yours to do the same to him. “No one else will ever touch you,” the animal within breathed against his lips as one hand clutched the back of his neck and the other held fast against the wall behind his head.  _ “No one.” _

For a moment, Ichigo’s eyes flickered between molten brown and piercing yellow in response to your declaration. Twisted pride took root in your chest at your ability to draw out even the Hollow in him, the one he kept such a tight leash on every waking second. It spurred you on, the coil of your pleasure tightening and sending sparks flying behind your eyes. Your body melded perfectly with his, limbs entangled and souls tethered as you raced for the edge together.

Ichigo came first, his frame shaking violently as he let out a sobbing shout of your name into the endless sky. With the sound of your name on his lips, you followed him over into the abyss, the climax igniting every nerve in your body, but not before he surged forward and drowned out your cry with a breathtaking kiss.

You heaved for breath together, tight in each other’s embrace, while your bodies came down from your incredible highs. Ichigo pressed gentle kisses to your shoulder all the while, humming his contentment. Time wore on slow in the afterglow and you basked in all that he was while you could.

Reality returned eventually though. You were still being hunted by the other Arrancar and Grimmjow remained missing while you and Ichigo were trapped in Hueco Mundo. Once you had dressed and strapped your zanpakutos safely back to yourselves, the silent watch resumed on the white horizon.

“You could come back with me, you know,” Ichigo eventually murmured, shoulder brushing against yours as you knelt next to the doorframe. “I could show you what humans are like and all that we do.”

A faint smirk found your lips and you shot him a mischievous look. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I don’t exactly blend in with human society,” you pointed out, fingers skimming the bone jutting from your temples and curling around your head. “Hollow and all that.”

Ichigo chuckled. “Yeah, I know. But you could still come.” His determined eyes told you he was clearly serious. “I’m out of my body half the time anyway. Besides, most humans can’t see souls. I could show you everything and you wouldn’t have to change a thing about yourself.”

Your chest burned at that. It was a very tempting offer, being able to experience human life firsthand, perhaps even experiencing Ichigo again. Grimmjow would be fine on his own, though would likely harass you every once in a while to see what you were up to with the humans. Very tempting indeed.

“Alright,” you murmured back. A bright smile cracked across Ichigo’s face and he leaned closer, nuzzling your hair and kissing it. “We have to get out of here first, however.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” he grinned when he leaned back. “This place can’t hold the two of us forever.”


End file.
